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☻Q : Why are blonde jokes so short? A : So men can remember them.

☻Q : Why do men like blonde jokes so much? A : Because they can understand them

☻Q : How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A : Shine a flashlight in their ear.

☻Q : What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A : They're both empty from the neck up.

☻Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A : From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

☻Q : Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A : So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills

☻Q : What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A : Far-from-thinking

☻Q : Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A : They keep breaking them with the hammers.

☻She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

☻She thought a quarterback was a refund.

☻She tripped on the cordless phone

☻She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind

☻She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

☻At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put Leo

☻If she spoke her mind, she would be speechless

☻When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved

☻Q : What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A : She slipped off and fell down the drain

☻Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night

☻Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? Because it said "concentrate"

☻What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring

☻Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can t fit the bottle in the typewriter

☻What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!

☻What are two reasons why blondes don't mind their own business? No mind. No business

☻Why did 18 blondes go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed

☻Two blondes were driving to Tokyo Disneyland when they saw a sign that read, "Tokyo Disneyland Left", so they turned around and went home

☻Why did the blonde dye her hair red? Instant Intelligence!

☻Why do blondes drive BMWs? Because they can spell it ☻Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche. ☻Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: Space. The final frontier.......... ☻Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus? A: She took the 33 bus twice instead. ☻Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs? A: Cos they've no idea of the route. ☻Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes Twinkle? A: You shine a torchlight in her ear. ☻Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear? A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck. ☻Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm? A: E-I-E-I-O. ☻Q: How do you measure their intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear. ☻It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle. She tried putting batteries in it. ☻To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides. ☻Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs. ☻Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes. ☻Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree? A: The Branch Manager. ☻Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proof-reading. ☻Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. ☻Q: Why do blondes love lightning? A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo. ☻It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died. ☻Q: What's brown, red, black and blue? A: A Brunette who's been tellin one too many blonde jokes. ☻NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones. ☻Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes? A: She couldn't find the recipe. ☻Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 2. 1 to hold the Diet Irn-Bru and the other to call on 'Daddddyyy' ☻Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. ☻Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home? A: She moved. ☻Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of Sixty? A: A blonde parade. ☻Q: Why did the blonde call the job centre? A: She wanted to find out how to cook food stamps. ☻Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in 6 or 12 pieces. A: "Oh, only Six I think - I'd never manage to eat all 12 pieces." ☻Q: What do you call a Smart blonde? A: A Golden Retriever. ☻Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-Air. ☻Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Cos sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. ☻Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: Both are completely empty from the neck up. ☻Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. ☻Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. ☻Q: How do you drive a blonde Insane? A: Hide her Hair Dryer. ☻Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: alone. ☻Q: How do you know a blonde has robbed your house? A: You notice the microwave is gone, but a note is there in it's place saying: "Thanks for the TV" ☻Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) ☻Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day? A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat". ☻Q: What do you call a blonde on a University Campus? A: A visitor. ☻Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo." ☻Q: What is the best secretary in the world to have? A: The one that never misses a period. ☻Q: What do blondes say after sex? A: "Thanks, guys!". ☻Q: What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic? A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic. ☻Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast? A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic. ☻Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Duke only 'had' Ten Thousand men. ☻Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E. ☻Q: Why was the Blonde Girl smiling as she walked down the marriage eisle? A: Cos she knew she'd given her last Blow job. ☻Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex. ☻Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common? A: Both contain a cockpit ☻Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Great Tits!!!" ☻Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up Doll? A: Around 2 cans of hair spray. ☻Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp? A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way. ☻Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks? A: Cos she's been laid all over the country. ☻Q: What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team. ☻Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer? A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet. ☻Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes? A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends. ☻Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She scorched her lips on the exhaust pipe. ☻Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde? A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking. ☻Q: Why is a blonde like a shotgun? A: Give her a cock and she'll be ready to blow. ☻Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. ☻Q: What does a blonde look like after sex? A: No idea mate. I'm already long gone.... ☻Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme? A: HumpMe DumpMe. ☻Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: Cuz everyone gets a turn. ☻Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"? A: She loved to get filled with Cream. ☻Q: In a Blonde's mind what is long and hard? A: Grade 4.